Saturday, January 19, 2008
I'm back home from work so early eh? worked til' 2 & poor jessica had to come down early to take over me, so sorry babe. wasn't feeling good at all, having super duper headches. aunty monica gave me pills to stop the pain but it doesn't work at all. daddy came to send me back home just in case I faint halfway on my way back. he even tried to crack jokes just to make me laugh, I didn't. he said that my headaches are due to lack of sleep & empty stomach. have been staying up all night & skipping meals, so he offered to pei me eat lunch before going back but I rejected. I just want to get back home & now I'm home alone.. I hate to be alone cos' my darn dog will do nothing to make me happy, he just sleeps...
thanks darling for talking on the phone with me just now, mummy for her concerns, aunty monica for the pill & daddy for those lame jokes. very much appreciated.
(edited)
after taking more pills, tried to fall asleep cos' daddy said so. but I just couldn't sleep, bad dreams. was waiting for bus 58 at the bus stop, & the stupid bus driver just drove past, he still looked at the bus stop then drove away. I did flag for the bus ok! & then it was so freaking cold at night la with a couple dunno doing what at the bus stop, obscene -.- waited very long for a space at Ikea, finally got a seat. was super hungry but couldn't take in the food, I think I need to change a new stomach, anyone wants to donate yours to me?? bought new sofa, like finally! delivery charge was so expensive, ridiculously. spotted a couple sitting at one of Ikea's showroom using laptop. the gf was sleeping on the bf's shoulder & the bf was using Ikea's electricity like their own house, such a stupid thing. walked back home after that.
the pain just can't stop, many flash-backs in my mind, I can't think properly. felt so restless,hopeless & useless. I feel like banging the wall & just knock my self out.
I want to go back to the happy times & snapped down every moment, pictures are the best way to keep memories. I've got none, only that few messages to keep me smiling for that moment. That's the only way to keep me awake from whatever I do.
how much I want to tell you my feelings, my thoughts. how much I wish to receive one message from you.
how much I miss bickering with you like in the past. how much I want to let you know no matter what, you're still that idiot who makes my day.
so much I want to say, you stole that chance away..
18th birthday's coming, not happy at all cos' will be having exams. I'm super scared cos' I've got no confidence to make it to year2. I've lost all the confidence & motivations.
I'm so not me anymore...